Watching TV tonight I came across a documentary about Bangladesh after being hit by a hurricane. The situation was already bad but now it is a lot worse. A lot of children were left without a family roaming the streets . Some of them still have a family but they have nothing left . They sleep anywhere  they find. All kinds of flimsy metal shacks or call them boxes become a home,really a palace for these people . For a few cents kids of eight or nine years had to work from morning till night, and then no schooling ,just  find somewhere to sleep for the night and then the same thing the day after. Whole families were living in the local rubbish dump all trying to eek out a living by collecting anything they could find and selling it out to anyone prepared to buy.Some of them were standing in the stinking polluted rain water that collected in the dump stirring the stuff trying to pick any bits of coloured plastic they could find. Their hands and feet were all swollen and distorted due to the infections from the brackish water. Why is it that these people can't have a decent life with their own comfortable home with all the amenities without having to loose their dignity like this?. Is this the justice we all talk about .Why can't we have a better distribution of wealth on this planet of ours. Their are a few organisations that are trying to do something but it is such a huge job that it is virtually impossible.It makes me really want to puke  when I see all this and then i hear on the news about the amount of money richer countries spend on arms and financing their wars for more wealth like the one in Iraq.Is it possible to get a small percentage of all this to go to help these people and give them some kind of education so they can lift themselves out of the gutter? Where is Mr Bush who believes that he has this god given duty to police the world? What a sad world.

Finally the day has arrived. I had to go to hospital for  a stress check yesterday . The appointment was for 8.30 am so I woke up quite early as they tell you to shave your hairy chest before you go. I am nothing near a monkey but I still have a few bristles on my chest so it took some time trying to shave myself smooth. wow. Imagine I had to do it regularly like some men do.Just imagine. Hope i don't have to do it very often.              

         One can say i didn't wake up really as i was so worried i didn't sleep properly at night. I don't know how many times i woke up. At the end i must have counted millions of sheep trying to get myself to get some sleep .

  I made my way down to the new hospital a bit early ,something i always like to do as i like to be on time whatever the reason is . I hate it when i have to wait for someone else .Well still remembering the last time i was there and how much i had to wait it is better to go a bit early.There were quite a few people waiting but surprisingly within an hour i was admitted in the clinic.You had to go on a kind of treadmill where you got wired to the machine so they got to follow what your heart was doing through all the exercise. You start slowly and then in phases they increase the speed till at the end you are running flat out. It was quite hard for me as i am not used to running on a treadmill and the exercise took quite a few minutes so i was gasping for breath at the end. Well thank god after all the exercise went well and they said my heart was fine as much as could be. That really made me give out a huge sigh of relief after all i have been through lately.

In this life nothing is worse than not having your health I think. Money is important but not that far. You can get better treatment but you cant buy your health.Since about two weeks ago when i felt ill i haven't convinced myself yet that i am feeling ok. Today i feel something here and tomorrow i feel something different.Is it my imagination running ahead?

         Since when i was young i never liked medical things and someone talking about diseases pissed me off even at school and i felt like i had to leave or especially at school i had to close my ears somehow not to listen to the teachers during biology lessons. Lately i am getting the impression that whoever i talk to the subject somehow is  always turning to who has this disease and who has that . Even on TV i keep hitting on programs showing surgery like it's something like making a cake or a DIY job in the house. Most probably it's only an impression but that tells you how much the mind is focused on the subject eh. One is thinking maybe i have the same thing as well or worse .How awful. Well now next Wednesday i am off to hospital again for some more tests. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that nothing turns out. Am i being too negative ? Maybe ,but that's me my friend .

Lately I haven't been feeling so well. For a about two or three weeks I have been waking up in the morning feeling like i was about to faint. Sometimes even in the middle of the night and after a few times i was getting a bit worried,i mean now I'm not so young anymore and it pays to be careful. about two weeks ago i went down to see my doctor and i told him the whole story but he didn't seem to take so much notice . He measured my blood pressure which he said was fine so he said you have nothing to worry about . The stupid thing is i still worry and especially when i happen to be present when someone is talking about some disease or other. Normally i can't even stand programs on TV  showing some medical sequence .It makes me anxious and it it's on TV ok as i turn it off but when it's friends it's no so easy, just moving away in the middle of everything.

Anyway last week i was feeling a bit off all day so in the afternoon i phoned my sister who works at the hospital to see if i can go and have some tests done so i can rest my mind that nothing is wrong . And there goes the thing as my sister started trying to explain what i was feeling and what you have to avoid she got me more anxious than i was before as i started imagining all kinds of situations. I got so worked up that in the evening i started feeling like someone was squeezing me and going to bed a bit early but i couldn't sleep whichever way i turned on the bed up till about one o'clock in the morning when i couldn't stand it any more so i got my boy who is now seventeen to come with me and went to the local clinic. After a short examination the doctor said i had a low pulse and that my pressure was a bit high. He filled in a form and sent me right away to the main hospital  and that didn't help my anxiety at all, but somehow i drove all the way to the hospital .I was mad . Who knows what would have happened if i had fainted on the way.

Anyway arriving at the hospital it was choc a bloc with people even though it was in the middle of the night but i was quickly admitted for a quick examination and when the doctor saw there was nothing serious he sent me to wait outside were i had to wait till about 5 in the morning but by then i had calmed down quite a bit. Later i went in for some tests and an x ray.and after about an hour and a half they called me again and the nurse said we are going to keep you here for some more tests .I wasn't prepared to stay on as i had the boy in the car asleep so i panicked a bit but then i decided to stay so i phoned my brother at home giving him a shock when i said i am in hospital come and pick the car. So  i had to explain that there was nothing serious but i had to stay in for a couple of days for some more tests. So i spent the two days leave i had taken in hospital looking at the ceiling having a series of blood tests and ecgs . On the second day the doctor came and explained a few things but he said there was nothing serious but it might have been the effect of a cold i had before but he said i had to cut down on my weight as my cholesterol was on the high side and do more exercise. The exercise i have already been doing for the last three months . I have walked miles and miles.So now i hope i can start eating a bit less and try to avoid fatty meals and fries as much as possible. All the tests have given me some serenity but not totally as i still feel not hundred percent but i don't know what it is. Now i will leave some time to see if things improve then most probably i have to go and get another check if they don't improve . it's better to be safe then sorry.